Professor Ponderer Pillows

'I like the history professor but I think he's mired in the past.'

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

Shakespeare was bisexual

"Have you been playing dice?"

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

Sauce for the Goose

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

"When we're home, are we still aliens?"

"Academic freedom doesn't mean you're free not to study."

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

'The organizational structure is pretty simple: We do the work; they take the credit.'

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

"Still, he might be remembered as the 'no cloning' President."

'I hate to tell you this, but enlightenment just isn't for commuters.'

'Look at it another way. Happiness can't buy you money!'

'At least I don't have his life.'

The probability of an event occurring is inversely proportional to its desirability.

Afraid of change - leave it here.

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single malt."

'...and that is my philosophy.'

'Why am I the one always getting kicked?'

"It all started when I read somewhere that happiness is an inside job. Naturally, I assumed some breaking and entering was involved."

"And the meaning of life is.... oh rats, the battery died."

"I think it's wrong to hunt them when they're in a house of worship."

The Male Atom: Sex, Sport, War and Good Intentions.

Ivan Turgenev