Academia Ponderer Pillows

'I'm planning to outsource my class load next year. I'm thinking India for paper correction.'

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"Space is curved and time is relative? Yeah, OK...I'm calling you a cab right now, buddy."

"Academic freedom doesn't mean you're free not to study."

'The organizational structure is pretty simple: We do the work; they take the credit.'

'I like the history professor but I think he's mired in the past.'

"The UWS association for the advancement of A.I."

"Still, he might be remembered as the 'no cloning' President."

'At least I don't have his life.'

Master's Degrees of the Universe

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

"My computer beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick-boxing!"

"Today we'll examine that age old question of robot accomplishment: programming or processor?"

'As I see it, it's a toss-up between a Belgian data processing machine and an American electronic computer.'

"What if it's smarter than us?"

Diversity Does Not Include Class

"I wish I'd failed my 11 Plus too...."

"Genetic engineering has made us disease resistant."

'Tsk...woolly thinking again.'

"If you have to ask, you can't afford it."

'It's not working because it claims it can think and has decided not to.'

Robot Attack in Bath

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!!"

"Well I think the Real question is..."

'Revolution? I thought you creatures said you wanted Evolution!'

'Do you ever wonder about this whole 'money' thing?'

"An equation for your thoughts?"

'The mind-body problem is best expressed in the formulation...OOf!'

"They're some kind of robot, perhaps artificially intelligent."

'Well, so much for that round-earth theory of yours, smart guy.'

"I want my job back."

A tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it.

"Shouldn't we hold off an artificial intelligence until we figure out actual intelligence?"

Grading Guidelines.

"These industrial robots don't complain, but they don't show fear, either. I miss the fear."