Postgraduate Ponderer Pillows

Master's Degrees of the Universe

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"Does anyone know where we keep the unwritten rules?"

"Academic freedom doesn't mean you're free not to study."

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

'The organizational structure is pretty simple: We do the work; they take the credit.'

'I like the history professor but I think he's mired in the past.'

"Still, he might be remembered as the 'no cloning' President."

"What if Newton came up with a different idea from a fallen apple."

"Quantum Physics"? How am I going to learn all of this stuff? A bit at a time?

'At least I don't have his life.'

The Male Atom: Sex, Sport, War and Good Intentions.

"Of course you can't put your finger on it. It's a hypothetical particle."

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

Max Weber

'As I see it, it's a toss-up between a Belgian data processing machine and an American electronic computer.'

"I've been studying reverse psychology at Tonga Tech Online University."

Telling Self to Buzz Off

Time, Temp, Today's Neutrino Mass

Diversity Does Not Include Class

'Tsk...woolly thinking again.'

'Please don't read anything into the fact that I'm wearing loafers. I assure you I'm a very energetic worker.'

That's no big deal, a lot of people get Siskel and Ebert mixed up

"I wish I'd failed my 11 Plus too...."

'Turn your thinking cap around, Robert.'

Yeah, I woke up as a roach because I was so full of existential dread – Why did you wake up as a dung beetle?

What brings you to therapy, Rudy? Dr. Noodle. I've been feeling like my whole life is on pause. And I can't find the remote to unpause it. Meanwhile, everyone else's stories are proceeding apace. They're all into the second act already. They've all had plot twists, and hero's journeys, and epic love scenes, and thrilling reversals of fortune ... Meanwhile, I'm still paused on the opening credits because no remote. Why don't you get up off the couch and unpause it manually? You can do that?

I see

'Well, that brings us up to my third birthday...'

Are you aware? The Higgs Boson was thought to exist even through no one had seen it!

"I don't know why I'm here - I don't need a haircut."

Caption Contest TK

"If you have to ask, you can't afford it."