Profession Ponderer Pillows

'It's a disaster, legal salaried have fallen across the board in relation to similarly paid professionals.'

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

"Have you been playing dice?"

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

"When we're home, are we still aliens?"

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

"Needs to get a life"

Sauce for the Goose

"Academic freedom doesn't mean you're free not to study."

"What a tragedy... he still had two years of his super left..."

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

I don't think I'm letting sunlight in when I open the curtains. I think the darkness is going out.

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'

'The organizational structure is pretty simple: We do the work; they take the credit.'

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

'I like the history professor but I think he's mired in the past.'

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

"I guess now's as good a time as any."

'Look at it another way. Happiness can't buy you money!'

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

"Apparently over 50% of people never look at their pension plans!"

'I hate to tell you this, but enlightenment just isn't for commuters.'

'At least I don't have his life.'

The probability of an event occurring is inversely proportional to its desirability.

Afraid of change - leave it here.

'...and that is my philosophy.'

'Why am I the one always getting kicked?'

"It all started when I read somewhere that happiness is an inside job. Naturally, I assumed some breaking and entering was involved."

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single malt."