People Skills Ponderers Pillows

'We'll skip that rubbish.'

"Needs to get a life"

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

"I'm learning to live with existence."

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

'The organizational structure is pretty simple: We do the work; they take the credit.'

Ten Commandments

'At least I don't have his life.'

'As I recall you were the one who told him that he couldn't take it with him.'

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

The Male Atom: Sex, Sport, War and Good Intentions.

"The trouble is, professor, you see the Erlenmeyer flask half empty and I see it half full."

Max Weber

"I've been studying reverse psychology at Tonga Tech Online University."

"Great, now we're lost."

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

Telling Self to Buzz Off

"I don't know why I'm here - I don't need a haircut."

'Well, that brings us up to my third birthday...'

GDP and G&T.

That's no big deal, a lot of people get Siskel and Ebert mixed up

Caption Contest TK

'I didn't choose art. Art chose me!'

'It's not just his insane jealousy - he also insists on choosing all my clothes.'

'Do you ever wonder about this whole 'money' thing?'