People Skills Ponderers Gifts

'We'll skip that rubbish.'

"Needs to get a life"

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

"I'm learning to live with existence."

'The organizational structure is pretty simple: We do the work; they take the credit.'

Ten Commandments

'At least I don't have his life.'

'As I recall you were the one who told him that he couldn't take it with him.'

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

The Male Atom: Sex, Sport, War and Good Intentions.

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

"The trouble is, professor, you see the Erlenmeyer flask half empty and I see it half full."

Max Weber

"I've been studying reverse psychology at Tonga Tech Online University."

"Imagine There's No Heaven. It's Easy If You Try..."

"Great, now we're lost."

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

Telling Self to Buzz Off

That's no big deal, a lot of people get Siskel and Ebert mixed up

Personnel. I figure since every boss tells you to forget everything you learned in school, not learning anything to begin with puts me ahead of the pack.

Off to a bad start.

Caption Contest TK

"I don't know why I'm here - I don't need a haircut."

'Please don't read anything into the fact that I'm wearing loafers. I assure you I'm a very energetic worker.'

'I didn't choose art. Art chose me!'

GDP and G&T.

Yeah, I woke up as a roach because I was so full of existential dread – Why did you wake up as a dung beetle?

'Well, that brings us up to my third birthday...'

What brings you to therapy, Rudy? Dr. Noodle. I've been feeling like my whole life is on pause. And I can't find the remote to unpause it. Meanwhile, everyone else's stories are proceeding apace. They're all into the second act already. They've all had plot twists, and hero's journeys, and epic love scenes, and thrilling reversals of fortune ... Meanwhile, I'm still paused on the opening credits because no remote. Why don't you get up off the couch and unpause it manually? You can do that?

I see

The Loneliness of Power

'Do you ever wonder about this whole 'money' thing?'