Professional Spender Gifts

'It's amazing! I'm a magician! I can make a weekly wage disappear in four hours!'

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

"I need to increase my salary so I can increase my spending."

Take pity on me. I can't give much this year. What is this heresy, son? I didn't get a raise this year, got furloughed this summer, am behind on my cable bill, can't afford proper dates. But it's the holidays. Think of the needy. Pierre in flat-panels has a new baby. Sandy, the mobile device manager, toils so hard for your business. And don't forget Apple. It's got to make its quarter. Computer Villa. Customer service. I shouldn't just think of myself. That's better. I'd like to upgrade all my d

'Whoever stole your credit card is spending a lot less with it than you did!'

'I've got the world by the tail. How much is this going to set me back?'

'Sorry - I only donate big.'

'Some people say they're ego-compensation, but what do they know.'

Buy 1 Get 1 Free. Buy 2 You're Stupid.

"Fiscal conservatism be damned. I'm a fiscal hedonist."

"Why do I need more allowance? Because if you cut me off at 21, these are my prime spending years!"

Wealth AcquisitionWealth ManagementSince You Can't Take it with you, Spend it.

"With this app, I can track my savings. It counts cash, categorizes cash, and calculates cash interest."

"I balance my manic compulsive buying with manic buyer's remorse."

If you don't see what you want, buy something you don't want!

'Just because I'm a doctor without borders doesn't mean I venture into menus without prices.'

'I'm the same as you - too sick to go into work, but well enough to go shopping!'

"Well, maybe money can't buy happiness, but I'm willing to try."

'Good heavens, Margaret, the bailout was for wall street, not for you.'

'I think we should put a limit on how much we spend on each other at Christmas, like two hundred and twenty thousand pounds.'

"I want to be cured of some very destructive buying habits."

'I do know the value of a dollar... that's why I've asked for five...'

'Credit card customer of the month'

"Classic ballcap $79.95. White, black, red or blue. Adjustable. One size fits all."

The Price of The Stuff/How Much Stuff Is in The Store

Eat it while it's still £6.50.

80 Million Euros for a football player.

"Are we maximizing our time together or minimizing our efforts?"

'In life I was scorned for worshipping the Almighty Dollar.'

"I'm still spending a lot of money, but I'm spending it ironically."

Credit card debt.

Spiralling inflation

'I couldn't afford the lavish lifestyle I was living. Coming to accept that was freeing, although, not as freeing as I had hoped.'

'The bank wants you to stop writing checks for a few days, to give them a chance to catch up.'

"If it's any consolation, spending all that money shopping made me feel a lot better."