Professional Sleeper Gifts

'I got rid of those funny little spots in front of my eyes. Now what's bugging me is a buzzing noise in my ears, like somebody sawing logs.'

"I think I need an extra pillow."

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

Night-time halo

Wordplay: Hibernation.

Bob invents a device that electrically shocks anyone who calls between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.

"Maybe we should have just had a baby..."

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

A breakthrough in the morning meeting

Broken Alarm Clock.

'Okay. Time to get up. 1... 2... 3... Go!' - 'Actually, maybe I'll just rest my eyes for a few seconds.' - 'Zzzzz...'

Feline Evolution.

'I've always loved your adventurousness in bed.'

"I can't decide whether to get upset and wake him up... or wait and see if it works!"

'Don't take this the wrong way, Honey, but not only have I decided to hibernate this year, but I want to hibernate in the spare room...'

'I hate counting sheep. I get enough math at school.'

Interpretive napping

"Clearly the patient's experiencing difficulty attaining the deep, final level of restful sleep."

Downside of a memory foam mattress.

Oh, come on this insomnia is driving me nuts! Just shoot me with a tranquilizer dart, wouldja!

"You were snoring."

"I like to come prepared for meetings."

"What's with your hair?"

Baby zipping himself up then going to sleep

"I only drink decaf, otherwise I'm awake up to four hours a day."

Let's not do anything we'll regret in the morning. I like to sleep past noon.

"Let's go to sleep so that when we wake up today will be tomorrow."

'It's a soothing sounds machine. Spring Rain, Summer Breeze, and Fall School Bus.'

The next step in executive efficiency - Microsoft PowerNap.

Center For Sleep Deprivation

"Would you mind getting me the Ambien, the Tiger Balm, three cookies, a cup of tea and a pillow for my legs?"

In the great green room there was a pot of coffee and a red-eyed dad, too. Good Morning Moon.

Fish sleeps while counting worms that jump over a fence.

'She let the bedbugs bite.'

'Was it the non-flying dream again?'