Professional Beggar Gifts

'So, you're an organ-grinder's monkey? A professional beggar? Is that how you intend to support my daughter?'

"It's a memo from the legal department reminding us to (heh-heh), 'keep our noses clean'."

'There they go - off on their own - and a finer bunch of fledgelings one couldn't ask.'

'Hello, Acme signs? This is the Berger & Coles Law Office...'

What do you mean, "Did I try anything funny?"

'At this juncture in my presentation, I'd like to dispense with the illusion of coherence.'

'Excuse me, I'm going to talk on the cellphone while pretending you're not here.'

Call Your Office

'It's amazing! I'm a magician! I can make a weekly wage disappear in four hours!'

Young costermonger trying to sell to a gentleman.

'Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, feel sorry for the people who have to work with you.'

Thank you for not making faces during teleconferences with the boss.

'I thought I'd never say this, but I think we might've traveled too far this time!'

Please use another building entirely

"I'm totally prepared for this meeting. In fact I spent the entire morning working on my 'it's not my fault' face."

"I told you they had a tough interview process here."

'I think the meeting went reasonably well until he threatened to call security.'

Another reason why a high school diploma is not enough.

"Sign the contract first kid, then you get the sweets!"

Employment Office. I see by your resume that you don't stay in one place very long.

"Would you like your milk in a bag?"

'I'm the same as you - too sick to go into work, but well enough to go shopping!'

Avoid, Liabilities, Assets.

The last 'take your mother to work' day.

'-a Mister Wison,Accident Insurance to see you.'

"If you're going to chew gum you should bring enough for everyone."

'He came in for an interview 3 hours ago, and I made the mistake of telling him to make himself comfortable.'

"She's okay - she just shopped 'till she dropped."

'You stood up at the meeting and disagreed with the boss? Wow, I bet there was quite a backlash.'

'Need any help with packing?'

"Stan's not much of a morning person...then again, he's not much of and afternoon or evening person, either!"

"How's your sense of humor? We're looking for an auditor who knows how to laugh."

Talkin' Trash

Ringing Briefcase.

A New Test.