Beggar Gifts

Man begging getting pelted with coins.

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

When Tia Carmen says... "I got it for a very good price!" it means...she stopped at a garage sale on the way home.

"We've combine the recovery area with the gift shop... just in case your visitors want to pick up a little souvenir."

"Everything's gone up."

'Hunting and gathering doesn't sound very interesting, so I have decided to become a consultant.'

'So, you're an organ-grinder's monkey? A professional beggar? Is that how you intend to support my daughter?'

'I'm sorry, but I don't know anything about external combustion engines.'

We Never Look at Prices Shop.

"When you grow up would you rather be a Hunter or Gatherer?"

''Because It's There' got us up here...you have any ideas how we get back down?'

Fashion Mistake.

"Oh, its just a fun fur that my husband got me."

'You think you're better than me, don't you?'

"I often think of the 'Hereafter'. When I'm shopping I'm always asking myself 'What am I here after?'"

Shopping trolleys can be found anywhere...

Securing a Magnificent Salmon.

"I'm looking for something that the recipient will be too embarrassed to regift."

'And don't forget the eggs dear'

I try to stick to hunting. My wife makes me take a list when I'm gathering.

'This buggy gets only about one mile per gal.'

We're having a dinner party.

Our grocery carts are genetically modified.

Discount Shopping.

"Oh no. It's another death caused by 'economy pack syndrome'!"

"Would you like your milk in a bag?"

'You didn't realise she was so expensive? The clue is in the name!'

"Boy, that's that last time I ask my Dad for help on my homework!"

"Back from hunting with nothing again?"

"Hey, buddy. I seeka da mayo."

"Sure, organic free-range poultry is more expensive, but consider all the guilt you're saving."

Stuff you need once then leave at the back of the cupboard to fester

The Master chef had produced his masterpiece... a monster Danish pastry!

"Here's a bunch of money. We need you to save America...as we know it."