Productivity Mastermind Gifts

"Good" "Bad" "Work on it" "Keep working - maybe it's not as bad as you think it is" "Put it to a committee" "Give up" "Make it worse" "Make it better" "Still a bad idea" "Overthink it" "Throw yourself into a pit of wild badgers" "Throw it away" "Call it done" "Sigh."

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

Motivation to work

"It's a new target to target a time to reduce targets so that we'll be less target driven!"

'I see you're still trying to get the staff enthused over the weekly meetings.' (Meeting offers free coffee, free snacks, eye-popping charts, exciting videos and free idea pads).

"Meanwhile, obsessing about productivity is way up."

"Sir, the staff are all assembled for your pep talk."

"Has anyone else noticed that the efficiency experts seem a little robotic?"

"Give a man a job, and he'll work all day. Teach a man to delegate, and he'll take the rest of the day off."

"The team needs LEADERSHIP, anyone have a view on that?"

What can I play?

"You should be able to get through your emails during the working day then you could use the rest of your life to do some of the work."

"Oh, I can be dependable, and for another £200 a week, I can be productive too."

Here's a new Blackberry with a special silent alarm that vibrates and delivers a small electrical shock. We call it the Gooseberry.

Strategic Planning Magnetic Kit showing words such as 'increase,' 'global,' 'leading,' and 'profitable'

'Im so overloaded with emails, just one monitor wasn't enough to handle them all.'

'With 5% spent on talent, 5% on production, and 90% on marketing...I smell WINNER!'

Working Environment

Carlo Ancelotti

"This is super. I asked for super-duper."

"I think you're becoming a workaholic."

Corporate Cafeteria. I don't care how many toppings you pizza has --- eating it is not multitasking!

'I start my day by making a list of everything I need to do . . . and who I can get to do it for me.'

'Here, here and here the copier was jammed...'

"I know eight hours sleep a day is normal... but not at work!"

'This either means 'get busy', or I'm damned.'

Cost Time A = Edit your strategy Bored Tired

"To be honest, it's the same stuff just in different bottles!"

"We're targeting a specific demographic: the utterly clueless."

"A Leading cosmetics company believes our drilling mud would ake an excellent skincare product."

How to boost your work output...

The imagery attacks the compalcency of the casual web surfer and uses a visual cacophony of discordant images to excite and enthusethe casual visitor...