Procrastinator's Guild Gifts

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

Desk trays - 'in', 'out', and 'one of these days'.

"Hold my calls, Kimberly. I'm with a ball of string."

'I couldn't think of a science fair project so I just re-invented the wheel.'

The end of summer is near and you still haven't made plans

"The meeting will last until lunch, or hell freezes over, whichever is longer."

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

"Since he got that thing, he mostly just kills time."

"Lazy? I've been social-networking my ass off."

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

"Oh, don't mind that, it's just my body of unseen work."

"I tried getting good grades without studying, but it isn't working."

Sisyphus Gets a Desk Job.

"Josh, can you call my 3:30 and let them know I'll be a little late and completely unfocused."

"Let's face it, this meeting isn't about tightening our work schedule. It's about stretching our deadline."

'I understand you have nothing to do, York.'

"This next song's from the soundtrack to the film of the book I never got around to writing."

In, Out, Shake it all about

The artist wakes refreshed, creative juices flowing.

Inactive wear store.

"Things to do today: 1) stare out window 2) crap on new bedspread 3) stare out window 4) claw up ottoman 5) stare out window 6) take nap."

Nethead strip: Over doing the time spent on the computer

"It's hard being a TV viewer trapped in the body of a student."

'When does the improvement phase of this home improvement project begin?'

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

Man looking at greeting cards labeled "Apologies for not writing sooner" with sub-headings for different lengths of time.

'I put Wilson on your project and last I heard he was all over it!'

'You know what they say Mum: The early bird catches the worm! So I'm sleeping in...'

Desk boxes reading 'In', 'Out', and 'On second thought'.

'This is my list of things to do today and this is my list of things to do today that I'm not going to do today.'

"Put down your cell phone and check your job!"

"I think I see the problem."

"Shouldn't you boys be out fighting crime somewhere?" "Yeah, yeah, whatever." "I could use another beer while you're up." "I ain't goin' on no airplane!" "Anyone pay the cable bill?" The A-Hole Team

"I like office work, it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours!"

'Actually, I haven't done any work for a month due to technical difficulties.'