Procrastinator's Club Member Gifts

"Great New Year's resolution."

Desk trays - 'in', 'out', and 'one of these days'.

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

The end of summer is near and you still haven't made plans

"I swapped my 'couch to 5k' training app for a '5k to couch' one!"

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

"Lazy? I've been social-networking my ass off."

'Truth? I am just looking out the window...'

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

"I'm exempt from the company fitness program. I have triplets at home."

"Oh, don't mind that, it's just my body of unseen work."

"I tried getting good grades without studying, but it isn't working."

"Josh, can you call my 3:30 and let them know I'll be a little late and completely unfocused."

'I understand you have nothing to do, York.'

In, Out, Shake it all about

"This next song's from the soundtrack to the film of the book I never got around to writing."

"Listen, pal, they're all emergencies."

"It's hard being a TV viewer trapped in the body of a student."

'I'm not lazy - just resting before I get tired...'

Nethead strip: Over doing the time spent on the computer

'My arms are getting shorter.'

"Things to do today: 1) stare out window 2) crap on new bedspread 3) stare out window 4) claw up ottoman 5) stare out window 6) take nap."

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

Man looking at greeting cards labeled "Apologies for not writing sooner" with sub-headings for different lengths of time.

Desk boxes reading 'In', 'Out', and 'On second thought'.

'Busy Dear ?' 'Just watching my exercise video.'

'You know what they say Mum: The early bird catches the worm! So I'm sleeping in...'

'This is my list of things to do today and this is my list of things to do today that I'm not going to do today.'

'Hey, boss, what's a 7 letter work starting with 'w' that represents what I should be doing rather than solving crossword puzzles?'

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. That's a relief! How much can they expect out of your on your first day?

"Put down your cell phone and check your job!"

"I think I see the problem."

'Actually, I haven't done any work for a month due to technical difficulties.'

Invaders from Planet Manava.