Prize Enthusiast Pillows

Finding someone parked in her spot at the studio, Operah Winfrey will once again give a person in the audience a free car.

Man with raked leaves on wall plaques.

"I hope I get rock and you get scissors, or I get scissors and you get paper, or I get paper and you get rock."

'Guess what? I won again.'

'My hot-shot assistant was named as one of the top 10 to watch."

"I'm returning home triumphant - do you need me to pick anything up?"

Soccer coach of the year.

First Prize!

Geoffrey Rush

'We're looking for an award-winning sales professional. Those are trophies. You're overqualified.'

"It's this time of day when I feel most lengthened."

'Oh no its going to be one of those days.'

'...well you say you're Stephen Hawking but as Eddie Redmayne said he was going to turn up in character we're not too sure."

'Heads we declare bankruptcy, tails we try to buy out a profitable megacorp...'

"...and I'd like to thank all my patients for being so ill..."

'Yes,I did bag him from a treestand.How did you guess?'

Hospital Deaths - "Congratulations, you're manager of the month again"

'For donating half my property to the poor, I'll get the 'Unselfish Millionaire of the Year' medal and a supporting receipt for my allowable expenses!'

'Look a huge bird!'

"It took a lot of hard work to get here, but it was all worth it in the end."

"We don�t do awards ceremonies up here actually"

Bradley Wiggins

"...and this one is for the Spritzer Beer account."

Norman E-Mailer

"Here's my idea. . . we offer Trump the Nobel Peace Prize as a quid pro quo for leaving office."

'I brought in a big order and my boss gave me a feather for my cap.'

"That's excellent, Caroline!"

"They finally gave me the employee of the month award, but it kind of loses its meaning when every single other employee has already gotten it five times."

Using the skill of pottery to make athletics trophy.

'In a surprise move today, the members of the Nobel Committee awarded all of this year's Nobel Prizes to each other.'

Theodore Roosevelt wins the Nobel Peace Prize.

Most Loyal Employee Award

"This is as far as your air miles take you."

Leaving America to chance, the USA being eaten by a die

School administrator of the year "Accepting for Susan Curtis is her clinical psychologist."