Privilege Ponderers Gifts

"Okay, Max, your dad is the commissioner, you're at first base. Harry, your parents donated 5 grand to fix the snack bar, you're at shortstop. . ."

"White, middle class, male, of course everyone hates you."

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

"Have you been playing dice?"

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

"When we're home, are we still aliens?"

Sauce for the Goose

'I had considered a career as an offshore commodities broker specialising in securitised asset transfers but the pension wasn't as good.'

'Half an optimist is an odd bird, Sarah.'

I don't think I'm letting sunlight in when I open the curtains. I think the darkness is going out.

"I'm learning to live with existence."

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

"I guess now's as good a time as any."

Ten Commandments

"WOW, we're on top of the world!"

'I hate to tell you this, but enlightenment just isn't for commuters.'

'Look at it another way. Happiness can't buy you money!'

The probability of an event occurring is inversely proportional to its desirability.

Afraid of change - leave it here.

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single malt."

'Why am I the one always getting kicked?'

'As I recall you were the one who told him that he couldn't take it with him.'

'...and that is my philosophy.'

"It all started when I read somewhere that happiness is an inside job. Naturally, I assumed some breaking and entering was involved."

"Now, my brave little soldier, do you have everything...an apple for your teacher, your satchel, pencils and books - your existential misery??"

"And the meaning of life is.... oh rats, the battery died."

Le Penseur (D' Apres Rodin)

"I think it's wrong to hunt them when they're in a house of worship."

CCTV in church.