Privacy Joker Gifts

Peep-A-Boo Spyware: 'Your Privacy is Our Eminent Domain!'

The Anti-Agent

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

"Too crowded. Let's go."

Club Antisocial

40 Days without an on-the-job conversation.

"One more time, Mr Claus - who sold you the data?"

The Circular Logic of Fascism

"Do you mind?"

"They didn't want to be identified in my photo, so I blurred their butts."

"I just found a unicorn! Apparently, they just want to be left alone."

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

"Before I do this, I would ask everyone to please delete the footage in the event of this not going as planned."

'Due to government surveillance, is my allowance taxable?'

Statue of Liberty with satellite dish and laptop spying on the World.

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

"You work well without supervision? Fat chance of that happening in here!"

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

'Hey, what happened to my cookies?'

'It's a program on paranoia. Every time I leave the room, they stop and wait for me to come back.'

"I've added an additional response to the doc's health questionnaire. It's called 'Mind Your Own Business.'"

'More government surveillance!'

"Nothing else in my room can spin on the floor like a bottle."

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

"Don't deny it. You only wanted me for my metadata."

Police Statetion

"Yes, I'm alone."

'Boy, being an endangered species is quite hard: I get weighed, tagged, filmed, recorded and studied by scientists: I have no privacy...'

Hello from the shed.

"Turn on the news." "I will not comply." "My analysis of your viewing patterns has determined you will grow depressed after the lead story." "There is a 95% probability you will then gorge yourself on rocky road ice cream and then stay up all night googling elliptical machines and diet pills." "Who told you this?" "Both your refrigerator and your browser are gossipy."

CCTV in church.

The Best Defense

Privacy