Privacy Jokes Gifts

Man in bath not alone.

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

Candid Camera store.

'I love cutting trees in perfect circles because it drives aerial photography interpreters crazy.'

"Because when you go first nobody else has any fun, that's why."

"Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"

"You have to declare what you rob from the rich, but you can deduct what you give to the poor."

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

"I'm giving you a 300% salary increase, and four months paid leave."

"Okay, you scared the babysitter...now get back in there and rinse off that toothpaste, and go to bed!"

Clown Wife

'Wait a minute -- you haven't said anything about a retirement age.'

"Great news, Mr. Corrigan. That large, life-threatening lump we removed from your back turned out to be your lawyer."

'Bummer Dude! No waves. Moondoggie punked me!'

'Many Happy Redundan... HA! RETURNS of the day, Mackay.'

'Meaning of life? You bet! Here, pull my finger.'

Dog traps the postman.

Farmer chasing alien leaving crop circles.

Extremely Practical Jokes.

'OK, who moved the photocopier?'

Boardroom cream pies.

'I tell them it's for a patient in the next room and they don't complain about their shot.'

People leave joke shop with false moustache, nose and glasses marketed as 'the Robert Winston'.

"Okay, haha, very funny, you guys. Now toss down the ladder."

"One more question, Mr Cake. How do you feel about wearing a sheet, creeping about people's bedrooms and saying 'woo'?"

'Neighbors...friends...artists models.'

Two Daleks fighting

Employee of the month and the prankster of the month.

"Sir, can I interest you in a luxury coffin?"

To the office...happy Easter, from Sid.

'Ok guys, here comes the first of the day...let the fun begin!'

You need a sense of humor to work here, but you're overqualified.

"The favourite practical joke amongst Big Bang theorists"

'Hey, dad, I taught the dog to sit!'

"That's cute, dear. Now make sure to take a picture so we can show children exactly why they ended up in therapy."