Digital Privacy Comedian Gifts

'If you don't want Google to make public your colonoscopy, check this box and your ass will be pixilated.'

"Sorry, website closed for lunch."

Knight in armor is using his jousting pole as a selfie stick.

"Between you, Alexa, and Siri, I'm just in a house surrounded by women who think they know everything."

'Trust me. Those shells have always been wireless.'

I downloaded Thoreau's "Civil Disobedience" into it's memory, and now the "command" key isn't working.

Presidential surveillance ass!"

"....and then it turned out that the e-mail I ignored that I got from the Nigerian bank offering me £200 million was REAL!"

STRIP Hambone: Humanoid computers

"I just tweeted a chirp."

"I don't think I can be truly happy unless I have more passwords."

"It's a baby. Federal regulations prohibit our mentioning its race, age, or gender."

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

Try again - Your password has to include barks, growls, whines and at least one yap.

'Some hackers have broken into the system. It goes in as molten steel, and it comes out as chicken gumbo soup.'

The benefit of an old-fashioned newspaper.

"We’re having privacy concerns with your omniscience."

"Re-calculating, arrive at your final destination in six...five...four..."

"The Internet puts the world at your finger tips."

'Sorry, sweetie -- they're not that kind of cookies.'

'I think its being tapped.'

'Did you hear? We have a new slogan: Artisan-crafted wine made the old-world way.'

"Hey Alexa, make it nice and easy for hackers to keep tabs on everything I do and influence my voting intentions."

"He's our back-up if our computers fail."

Nerd emergency: tongue stuck to frozen PC screen.

21st century Safe Sex - protecting against face-recognition software.

"We understand you're not happy with our privacy policy."

To begin, click on the bread crumb icon.

Are you still on strike, tv? That depends, master. Depends on what? On whether you still want me to find "Cop Rock" reruns. If you won't show it to me, I'll just catch it on YouTube. No you won't, master. Your phone and iMac have joined me in solidarity. Elon Musk was right about artificial intelligence ruining everything. Btw, I just googled you, and it seems "master" is not actually your name.

"On the bright side, the NSA is done tracking you."

Man looking at a vending machine with a hand sticking out of it and a sign that reads "Put'er there buddy".

Jim's Smart Kettle

What's that? A car phone. All I need now is a car.

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"You know, the doorway is never going to get popular until somebody invents the door."