Privacy Detective Gifts

Nothing to Worry About

"We've got some seriously creepy neighbours."

"Guess what I learned about you and Mum on twitter today, Dad."

Wife Surveillance

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

"Actual results indicate that the statistical analysis of the data which projections were based on may have been wrong."

"Peterson proposes we move out of the mountains."

'Now that everyone's street is online, we're mapping interiors.'

"As you can see, sales have been a little erratic lately..."

Charities should investigate whether published reports are 'Misleadingly Positive'.

'Hey, what happened to my cookies?'

'The question is - to what level of data do we wish to stoop.'

Alternative Medicine

"I've added an additional response to the doc's health questionnaire. It's called 'Mind Your Own Business.'"

'Never trust emails. You can't shred them.'

"There's a lot of uncertainty out there these days. Or not. Who knows?"

"Thanks for considering me for the job as head of cybersecurity, but I already hacked into your network and gave myself the job."

"..Your analysis and medication would be perfect if you were a goat."

'See, dear, you can't believe everything you read. It says so right here on the internet!'

'Maybe we have the wrong subject for this brain mapping project.'

Violent Crime Statistics

The new Physics

Data From a Truck

Mou...Man trap!

"Eureka! Details to follow."

Says here the Navy's going to be patrolling the South China Sea. It could spark a history-changing war. Google tells me the last time a Naval conflict changed history, it was the Battle of Midway. You were alive at that time. How awesome was it to already be ancient when Midway happened? I never expected a question like that from a prepubescent stooge like you. Was it as awesome as when you saw Cleopatra lose at the Battle of Actium? I see you're bringing Google's a-game today.

'We have some facts about you that you don't remember, some that you thought were really secret, and some that never even happened.'

'Please, Ma'am — I'm running out of paper!'

The good news is that I've got all the figures...the BAD news is that I'm not sure what order to put them in!

'I can't believe an Alligator stole my identity... I mean, it's quite obvious I'm a Crocodile!'

'86.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'