Privacy Sleuth Gifts

'I've only just learned to read, and I'm already on page twelve of my sister's diary.'

"Give me his phone for 7 minutes and I will give you the man."

The News. Editor. Cough! Cough! That dry cough starts every time he makes a call. The editor is a "phone hacker"!

"Management says it's definitely NOT employee surveillance. Instead, they call it 'free media exposure.'"

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

$1: Family Secrets

"Does anyone know anything about spyware?"

Clickbait

"Honey, are we watching TV or is it watching us?"

'What an execrable day. I got drenched in a Wiki leak and buried in a document dump.'

'Should I just hit 'reply to all' and save the government the trouble?'

"Hacking and eavesdropping are my top skills. I guess you could say I'm a good listener."

The Modern Godot

Tiger discovers the online wildlife trade.

'Gimme all your cache!'

"It's the age-old question of our existence, Bill: 'Why does bad data happen to good computers?'"

Uncle Sam is Big Brother.

"I'm majoring in Communications with a minor in Leaking!"

Spying Smart TV

"Officer, someone hacked my bluetooth pressure cooker and blew my kitchen apart! What can I do?"

"Hello, I am a Nigerian Prince and I need your help!!! Please send me $500 and your bank routing number. You will rewarded with 10% of 12.7 million dollars and my undying friendship. Best wishes, Prince John Barron."

No, you were supposed to check the doorbell camera before lowering the drawbridge.

Secret Service Dogs

"Password must contain at least one pictograph."

I'd rather be phishing.

'Computer crime' 'To see your belongings visit our website www,burgular.com'

'Loose lips sink principalships.'

'...if he only knew what I wrote about him on my blog.'

What security flaw?

Able to Google Stuff Man

"We've gleaned all we need to know about you from the internet, but we'll keep your resume as a great example of creative writing."

Two men converse secretively

I'm loving the phone hacking scandal. I love it when ne'er-do-wells use technology to steal personal information. Because you like when people suffer. No. Because I love it when technology is proven as evil. Spare me. Technology is not evil. People are evil. Computers don't hack people. People hack people. Macs hack, Macs hack! You watch your mouth, filthy human! Fight, fight …

'And what if I did doctor the documents? I'm a doctor.'