Government Sleuth Gifts

The Ultimate Crime

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

$1: Family Secrets

"Look, Professor - a stegosaurus!"

"Excuse me, Professor. I think I might have spotted a flaw in your theory!"

'The dog ate my homework -- I thought maybe you could X-ray him.'

Roentgen tries to figure out what he's discovered.

"I need to self isolate. . . but I thought I'd better come in and see you first!"

Clickbait

'What an execrable day. I got drenched in a Wiki leak and buried in a document dump.'

"Perkins! What have you gone and done now...??"

'Should I just hit 'reply to all' and save the government the trouble?'

"Essentially Wilkins proves things and Brenner disproves them."

Medical Library - Large books with really revolting photographs

"Hacking and eavesdropping are my top skills. I guess you could say I'm a good listener."

Newton's Law and Order.

GM Crops Genie.

'Hey, it's that peeping Tom again, the one who has no respect for privacy.'

"According to stomach content analysis he'll be dead in half an hour."

Undercover Biophysicists

The Modern Godot

CIA. Office of Disinformation. Please Use Other Door.

Galileo describes his discoveries to the church (and gets hit over the head by the bishop/pope with the telescope that he made the discoveries with).

The Animal Researcher Reports...'I've been watching this herd of cattle for seven years, and to be frank, I haven't seen them do anything yet!'

Uncle Sam is Big Brother.

'She didn't notice it was a wolf and not her grandma?? Had grandma never heard of electrolysis??'

Schrodingers cat at the vets

'Trying to steal secrets again, Dr. Figowitz?'

"Password must contain at least one pictograph."

'It's Yorick all right - I know his DNA well.'

No, you were supposed to check the doorbell camera before lowering the drawbridge.

"The search for a new painkiller has been a real headache."

"Officer, someone hacked my bluetooth pressure cooker and blew my kitchen apart! What can I do?"

Genetically-Modified Foods: Are they safe?

Professor Yomp is working overtime, trying to find a synthetic rhino horn.'