Privacy Defenders Gifts

'Tim, the idea we would bug reporter's phones and listen to their private calls is preposterous. Incidentally, how was your wife's bunion surgery? And are Timmy Jr's grades improving.'

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

The Anti-Agent

"Too crowded. Let's go."

"They didn't want to be identified in my photo, so I blurred their butts."

"I just found a unicorn! Apparently, they just want to be left alone."

Next gen pregnancy tests.

"Before I do this, I would ask everyone to please delete the footage in the event of this not going as planned."

'Due to government surveillance, is my allowance taxable?'

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

'Now that everyone's street is online, we're mapping interiors.'

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

Statue of Liberty with satellite dish and laptop spying on the World.

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

"You work well without supervision? Fat chance of that happening in here!"

'Hey, what happened to my cookies?'

'It's a program on paranoia. Every time I leave the room, they stop and wait for me to come back.'

"Don't deny it. You only wanted me for my metadata."

"I've added an additional response to the doc's health questionnaire. It's called 'Mind Your Own Business.'"

'Never trust emails. You can't shred them.'

"Yes, I'm alone."

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

Police Statetion

'More government surveillance!'

'Boy, being an endangered species is quite hard: I get weighed, tagged, filmed, recorded and studied by scientists: I have no privacy...'

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

Privacy

CCTV in church.

"Turn on the news." "I will not comply." "My analysis of your viewing patterns has determined you will grow depressed after the lead story." "There is a 95% probability you will then gorge yourself on rocky road ice cream and then stay up all night googling elliptical machines and diet pills." "Who told you this?" "Both your refrigerator and your browser are gossipy."

"It's a beautiful day. I should go for a walk. . . Oh, now my neighbors are all out there."

"We've updated our privacy policy...it's so private we can't even tell you."

We've already got one. A hidden microphone in the staff coffee area.