Privacy Advocate Gifts

"On the Internet, nobody knows you're a dog."

Due to privacy concerns Santa no longer sees you when you're sleeping, or when you're awake.

Utopia - a necessarily restrictive and conformist social structure.

'Somehow your medical records got faxed to a complete stranger. He has no idea what's wrong with you either.'

"Your medical records are safe with us. We take patient privacy very seriously."

'Mrs. Cranley! You need to sign this HIPAA privacy form before the doctor can look at those warts on your stomach!'

'I realize it's a bit strange, sir, but due to the new health information privacy laws, none of us is allowed to know your identity.'

In the dark days, before doctor-patient confidentiality.

In Case Of Whistle-blower Break Glass.

'It's a memory stick with the name and address of every child on the planet.'

"You wear it on your wrist and it hacks - I mean, tracks - all your personal data."

'The new hidden cameras will allow us to see if anyone is violating our privacy policy by reading someone else's email.'

'We abide by HIPAA laws to protect your privacy.'

"We need to start listening to our customers."

Watching The Watchers.

'I see that you have two sisters and you like the Beatles. I predict that you will graduate in 2012...'

"I thought that sperm-bank donors remained anonymous."

'I can't say exactly where we are, but I'm pretty confident it's British territory,'

Medical records privacy

'If anyone wants me, I'll be in my office reading everyone's personal e-mail.'

Stethoscope line.

"Dress it up all you want – it's still and invasion of my privacy."

'Under privacy rules, I can't tell you anything about your condition. You'll have to find out yourself from a medical web site.'

Man reading a book in the library. Notices a man next to him reading all book about spying.

"At this point, my privacy needs are interfering with my intimacy goals."

'That was a very interesting cell phone conversation. Thanks for sharing it with me.'

"One more time, Mr Claus - who sold you the data?"

"I am now cutting all my rude remarks about the patient from her file."

"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say may be used against you in a court of law, newspapers, periodicals, radio, television, all electronic media, and technologies yet to be invented."

"At least they're not micromanaging you anymore."

'First it's surveillance cameras in schools and now my mom wants to be my friend on Facebook, so she can check up on me.''

'They take patient privacy so seriously around here they encrypt your name!'

Identity thieves in jail.

"Facebook is offering to do my taxes for me this year. They say it will be quick and convenient because they've already gathered all the information they need."

Sign reads: 'Small town ahead - don't believe a word you heard.'