Data Privacy Advocate Gifts

'If a hacker steals all my information from my health records do they keep my health problems too?'

"How did the internet get my bra size?"

'On the plus side this lifestyle produces no data for them to get their hands on.'

"It's not exactly shopping. Many companies have my profile, they send me stuff they know I'll like and they bill me for it."

Psychiatric Clinic. It's a new delusion. He thinks nobody's collecting his personal information online.

"I have to say after 45 years of marriage, nobody knows me as well as Facebook does."

"Your smartphone knows too much!"

The Anti-Agent

"Too crowded. Let's go."

"One more time, Mr Claus - who sold you the data?"

"They didn't want to be identified in my photo, so I blurred their butts."

The Circular Logic of Fascism

Next gen pregnancy tests.

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

"I just found a unicorn! Apparently, they just want to be left alone."

"Before I do this, I would ask everyone to please delete the footage in the event of this not going as planned."

Statue of Liberty with satellite dish and laptop spying on the World.

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

"You work well without supervision? Fat chance of that happening in here!"

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

'Hey, what happened to my cookies?'

Police Statetion

'It's a program on paranoia. Every time I leave the room, they stop and wait for me to come back.'

"I've added an additional response to the doc's health questionnaire. It's called 'Mind Your Own Business.'"

"Yes, I'm alone."

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

"Don't deny it. You only wanted me for my metadata."

'Boy, being an endangered species is quite hard: I get weighed, tagged, filmed, recorded and studied by scientists: I have no privacy...'

The Best Defense

CCTV in church.

Data From a Truck

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

Privacy

"It's a beautiful day. I should go for a walk. . . Oh, now my neighbors are all out there."

"Turn on the news." "I will not comply." "My analysis of your viewing patterns has determined you will grow depressed after the lead story." "There is a 95% probability you will then gorge yourself on rocky road ice cream and then stay up all night googling elliptical machines and diet pills." "Who told you this?" "Both your refrigerator and your browser are gossipy."