Confidentiality Advocate Gifts

"My client has nothing to leak at this time."

The Anti-Agent

"Too crowded. Let's go."

"One more time, Mr Claus - who sold you the data?"

The Circular Logic of Fascism

"They didn't want to be identified in my photo, so I blurred their butts."

Next gen pregnancy tests.

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

"I just found a unicorn! Apparently, they just want to be left alone."

"Since we're both being honest, I should tell you I have fleas."

"Honey, I don't want to hide anything from you. I collect pictures of cats in my spare time."

"Before I do this, I would ask everyone to please delete the footage in the event of this not going as planned."

Statue of Liberty with satellite dish and laptop spying on the World.

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

"You work well without supervision? Fat chance of that happening in here!"

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

'You don't have to be a boring bastard to work here but it helps.'

"I was going to have my people call his people, but I’m pretty sure his people have Caller I.D."

'I hate his kind. They use their integrity and hard work to advance their careers.'

'WELL, that certainly was a frank discussion! Shall we proceed to the inevitable apologies, retractions and clarifications?'

'Hey, what happened to my cookies?'

"At First Infidelity we're all about integrity...."

"Yes, I'm alone."

Police Statetion

'It's a program on paranoia. Every time I leave the room, they stop and wait for me to come back.'

"Don't deny it. You only wanted me for my metadata."

"I've added an additional response to the doc's health questionnaire. It's called 'Mind Your Own Business.'"

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

'Boy, being an endangered species is quite hard: I get weighed, tagged, filmed, recorded and studied by scientists: I have no privacy...'

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

Privacy

CCTV in church.

The Best Defense

"It's a beautiful day. I should go for a walk. . . Oh, now my neighbors are all out there."

"Turn on the news." "I will not comply." "My analysis of your viewing patterns has determined you will grow depressed after the lead story." "There is a 95% probability you will then gorge yourself on rocky road ice cream and then stay up all night googling elliptical machines and diet pills." "Who told you this?" "Both your refrigerator and your browser are gossipy."