Internet Privacy Defender Gifts

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

"Always remember, sweetheart, that when the service is free, YOU'RE the product!"

'With the increase in hacking, the I.T. department has proposed sealing all of our data in blister packs.'

'Now that everyone's street is online, we're mapping interiors.'

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

Privacy Conference Security

"Well the good news is that we did save a little money by not investing in cyber crime protection...."

"The date protection policy is all about access to information, and we all know information is POWER!"

Spammatic blaster - gun to shoot pop-up ads.

Privacy - Surveillance

'Never trust emails. You can't shred them.'

'Maybe a firewall isn't enough to protect our computer from worms and viruses. That's why I additionally installed this fence!'

'Well look, here come the hackers!'

'How do we know the NSA hasn't hacked your naughty list?'

"Hack back with all you've got!"

"These targeted ads are getting out of hand."

Workers are running out of one door labeled 'Reactive Business Intelligence,' while another worker in the next room sits calmly behind a door with a sign that reads, 'Proactive Business Intelligence.'

"I want one that detects intrusions by hackers, then blows their computers to bits!"

"That didn't work either! I'm telling you, this is one AGGRESSIVE virus!"

"They're worse than carpenter ants. We have hacker ants."

"Are you sure you updated the anti-virus software?"

"I'm not worried about identity theft. Who'd want to be me?"

"That guys is stealing my data!"

'I have the MRI scan of your brain. The right hemisphere is clogged with computer passwords.'

'We have to be forthright with the public. We have to have their confidence. We have to convince them we're working for the common good. Then we can invade their privacy.'

Bob soon began to hate his new anti-spam software.

"No, I'm not writing a short story. That's my password."

'The staff are healthy enough, it's the computers that keep getting a virus!'

'Gimme all your cache!'

'Hey, get out of my space!'