Online Reputation Defender Gifts

'I'll be a responsible and mature asset to the company, as proven by the lack of asinine photos of me on Facebook.'

Apart from your mother, who else thinks you're doing a good job as Chairman of the company?

Pity vs. Bragging and Public Relations

'Now that everyone's street is online, we're mapping interiors.'

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

'Never trust emails. You can't shred them.'

Data From a Truck

"I've spent all night diluting our negative reviews on Yelp." "Really?" "Yeah. You know how you can usually tell when a business owner does that?" "They post 'reviews' that don't have even a hint of negativity." "Amateurs. Check out the negatives I include: 'House of Java Cafe. I hate it because it's so perfect, it makes the rest of my day feel inadequate.'"

"We've updated our privacy policy...it's so private we can't even tell you."

The Cashless Society is Here

'Hey, get out of my space!'

The world of surveillance.

"I mind my mother, eat my broccoli and do my homework, but you won't tell the guys, will you?"

"Calls may be monitored because, frankly, we live in a surveillance society due to terrorism."

USA 2030

Collective Shrug

The Government is now following you...

'This call may be monitored and added to our endless metadata for no apparent reason.'

"After all the trouble I've been in lately, I decided to hire a PR firm to repair my image."

1 message reviewed by NSA.

'Thank you for calling civil liberties - your call may be recorded...'

"When I was young, we made statements using signs and marches!"

I've spent all night diluting our negative reviews on Yelp. Really? Yeah. You know how you can usually tell when a business owner does that? They post "reviews" that don't have even a hint of negativity. Amateurs. Check out the negatives I include: "House of Java Cafe. I hate it because it's so perfect, it makes the rest of my day feel inadequate."

"Unfortunately your Twitter has been hacked. Fortunately it has been hacked by someone much cooler and funnier than you."

Hilda Dinkerbonker takes on the issue of NSA domestic spying...

You can have your privacy back, as soon as I've finished showing it to everyone

Spy vs. Spy

The Circular Logic of Fascism

"How's your lowrider blog going?"

Your country needs YOUR personal data!

"Oh, can't complain."

NSA caught in the cookie jar.

"I used to be known as Mr. Nice Guy, but I bought my way out."

"Mom said to put her on your 'Don't bother me I'm taking a bath' list!"

"Your call and personal data may be monitored for brainwashing purposes."