Prison Quirks Enthusiast Gifts

'Let's get a kitty.'

'She's promised to wait for me but I only hope her memory isn't what it was!'

'That filet mignon was supposed to be your last meal? Whoops-a-daisy!'

"How'd you know I was in for cyber crime?"

'See, I told you it was a good idea to talk to the plants.'

Conrad Black will be unable to do his investment club's tax returns this year.

The Man in the Iron Basque!

"Murder one. How about you?" "I tried to rob an arts and crafts store with a hot glue gun."

"It's a sort of Birdman of Alcatraz situation, except that Martin here isn't a bird."

"No ham in this, I hope?"

Prison baseball game features Bankers vs. Wall Street.

'She kept asking me to say what was on my mind so I did. She told her analyst and then the FBI.'

'The SEC got me for inflating the numbers..'

'Which section, guilty, innocent, or framed?'

"Sorry, you've got the wrong number."

This gentleman would like to take his bird to see Alcatraz.

"They want to spend the weekend at Daddy's" (Colour)

'I'm in here for something I didn't do alright-I didn't pay my Council Tax!'

'It's amazing the change in his attitude since he took up knitting.'

'We've been married so long we finish each other's prison sentences.'

Santa visits prison.

'I'm being let go. Twenty years I give this place, and that's the thanks I get.'

'The first time it was a fine. Second time, fine and probation. Third time...'

'Juries have never liked me.'

'...And we'll soon have you out of those nasty black clod-hoppers and into some nice comfy slippers.'

WARDEN, 'You're a bad influence around here, Murdock!'

It's stopped raining. I think I'll be going!

"Oh, just sheltering in place, how about you?"

Term Life Insurance

'The Warden said you're to stop renting out the security video of your bank robbery.'