Prison Penpal Enthusiast Gifts

"... No, I'm not your Bert. I think you've got the wrong number."

'She's promised to wait for me but I only hope her memory isn't what it was!'

'My school has a very strict detention policy.'

'See, I told you it was a good idea to talk to the plants.'

"How'd you know I was in for cyber crime?"

Conrad Black will be unable to do his investment club's tax returns this year.

'That filet mignon was supposed to be your last meal? Whoops-a-daisy!'

'Eat. Sleep all winter. These are your resolutions?'

"Murder one. How about you?" "I tried to rob an arts and crafts store with a hot glue gun."

"You ever done time?"

'He didn't wash his hands.'

Prison baseball game features Bankers vs. Wall Street.

"Sorry, you've got the wrong number."

"They want to spend the weekend at Daddy's" (Colour)

MAIL CALL AT THOMPSON, HALVERSON, SPIELMAN & OSGOOD

Bullfighter and Bull Cellmates

This gentleman would like to take his bird to see Alcatraz.

Convict playing the violin

Prisoner is treated to leg of lamb for dinner.

"I can't continue to be your lawyer if you won't show up at the hearings."

'I'm in here for something I didn't do alright-I didn't pay my Council Tax!'

The End Of My Pen's Ink Supply Is Nea

'It's amazing the change in his attitude since he took up knitting.'

STRIP Hambone: Prisoner visited by a computer

'Jackie Chan caught you? Now, that's a coincidence - Charlie Chan caught me!'

'You're lucky: I can't have a penpal 'cause we don't have a fixed address...'

Maximum Insecurity Prison

"I told the dating service I hated the bar scene. I suppose you did, too."

Be a pen pal and make someone's day.

Santa visits prison.

Dannemora School for Exceptional & Gifted Felons.

"Well, anyhow, it sure is handy having my broker right here in my cell!"

'Juries have never liked me.'

''I'm under house arrest for six months. It's a lot more fun if you're not already in jail for a bunch of other crimes.'

"It's like home from home in here. The rules and regulations are very similar."