Prison Penpal Enthusiast Pillows

"... No, I'm not your Bert. I think you've got the wrong number."

'She's promised to wait for me but I only hope her memory isn't what it was!'

'My school has a very strict detention policy.'

"How'd you know I was in for cyber crime?"

'See, I told you it was a good idea to talk to the plants.'

Conrad Black will be unable to do his investment club's tax returns this year.

'That filet mignon was supposed to be your last meal? Whoops-a-daisy!'

'Eat. Sleep all winter. These are your resolutions?'

"Murder one. How about you?" "I tried to rob an arts and crafts store with a hot glue gun."

'He didn't wash his hands.'

Prison baseball game features Bankers vs. Wall Street.

Convict playing the violin

This gentleman would like to take his bird to see Alcatraz.

Prisoner is treated to leg of lamb for dinner.

MAIL CALL AT THOMPSON, HALVERSON, SPIELMAN & OSGOOD

"They want to spend the weekend at Daddy's" (Colour)

"Sorry, you've got the wrong number."

The End Of My Pen's Ink Supply Is Nea

'I'm in here for something I didn't do alright-I didn't pay my Council Tax!'

Maximum Insecurity Prison

Santa visits prison.

'You're lucky: I can't have a penpal 'cause we don't have a fixed address...'

"I told the dating service I hated the bar scene. I suppose you did, too."

Be a pen pal and make someone's day.

STRIP Hambone: Prisoner visited by a computer

'It's amazing the change in his attitude since he took up knitting.'

"Well, anyhow, it sure is handy having my broker right here in my cell!"

'Juries have never liked me.'

''I'm under house arrest for six months. It's a lot more fun if you're not already in jail for a bunch of other crimes.'

"It's like home from home in here. The rules and regulations are very similar."

"Oh, just sheltering in place, how about you?"