Price Vigilante Pillows

Eyedropper_b&w

"Because when you go first nobody else has any fun, that's why."

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

'This goes way beyond just keeping the flies off me...I'm fighting crime now too!'

Scarecrows guarding a field

"Peter Parker is Spiderman! Clark Kent is Superman!! Bruce Wayne is Batman!"

"Queen begins with Q, it should be precisely here."

Nun confronts mugger.

I've got to monitor all chatter in the cafe to prevent future pastry thefts. I don't know … What if you've got a scone thief for a neighbor, or a friend, or even a family member? Sure, today it's just a scone. But the next attack could be huge – the big one! You don't mean … Hoagie. They're trying to destroy our whole way of life.

"You mean to tell me I can only vote against one Congressman?"

"Stocks closed higher on news that despite market volatility, Edgar Freund, just an average investor from Petoskey, Michigan, decided not to sell anything."

Omicron: "Viva 2022!"

Collapse of 'Corner Men'

"What happened to what cat?"

'I've brought my attorney along to read the small print.'

A footballer is having an eye test.

"No, it won't last long, but while it does I aim to fight as much evil as possible."

'Could we have a little chat when you're through here?'

'The opportunity to be fair and just is rewarding - but what I especially like is taking the law into my own hands.'

'Yer luck's run out old timer - I've come fer what's mine!'

"Sac Meuniere is a typical dish from the coast and we'll begin with first removing the fresh plastic bag from the fish!"

"I realize Kyle was looking at your answers, but that doesn't mean you can sue him for theft of intellectual property."

'Miss Figgs, as your Headmaster I feel it only fair to warn you that your exam marking is under investigation!'

"Miss Jones, get up here and change this eye chart, please!"

'Mom, the only thing I don't like about this job is the screen saver.'

Monster in optician.

The Marks of Zorro

'You haven't been eating your carrots, have you?'

"What's the point of being your sidekick if the courts won't recognize it?"

What a hypochondriac --- He's always turning on his "check engine" light!

Your Precious Vote

"So how to you know I'm an optician?"

'Sir, what is the matter?' - 'New contact lenses.'

Cat's 'To Do' list.

"And just where did that extra vowel come from?"