Price Etymologists Gifts

Holiday Cottage price list

Screwdriver labelled 'Buyer' and screw labelled 'seller'.

'... Of course it's expensive. It doesn't grow on trees you know!'

'Our new simplified energy bills just have a few options starting with 'Grossly inflated' and progressing to the premium 'Bloodsucker' package. . .'

Power/Expenditures

'Of course, in the long term we're all extinct.'

Acme Petroleum, since 1925 and 9/10.

"I know we have to cut costs, but is bringing only one of each a good idea?"

'With the price of petrol, I had to take on a second job to pay for the petrol to drive to my first job!'

"Grog understand supply and demand."

Moanathon.

'Sorry, lad, but I lost all me gold during the recession. All I can give ya is a buck thirty in change!'

"Happiness is more important than money,but it is easier to count money."

Pharmacy. Prescription. Don't worry about that --- After paying for those you can't afford to drive! (Published originally on August 1, 2011.)

"I wanted to study etymology, but turned up for the wrong interview."

'It's a knock-knock joke.'

"This is our newest drug. It's currently undergoing rigorous testing to see how much we can charge."

"I live for twenty four hours. How can I fund a 401 K?"

"Classic ballcap $79.95. White, black, red or blue. Adjustable. One size fits all."

Caveman Dictionaries

'In this economy, money is the lure.'

"Hello, I'm Clifton Latimer."

With gas prices soaring, many stations have begun posting EMS teams next to their pumps.

'I only invented money last month, and I already have four payments due!'

"Expensive? Yes, but I don't exploit my mother."

When Chairs Attack

I'm with biped.

'What do I get for £1?'

"Let's go William! Get your head in the game!"

"Well, well, would you look at that. Fire. Talk about living beyond your means."

"See – they named a word after us: phlegmatic."

"It's just like the seventies but with a lot less biodiversity."

Make Room

"Did you know the word 'faith' is a linguistic blend of the Latin words 'faigus' and 'phytolith'? Don't question it. Just believe me."

'The rich are very different from me and you, my friend.'