Price Philosopher Gifts

Screwdriver labelled 'Buyer' and screw labelled 'seller'.

'Sorry guys... budget cuts !'

'I'm worried about all these unemployed. They're still on our payroll'

'Maximising shareholder value doesn't count.'

'... Of course it's expensive. It doesn't grow on trees you know!'

'Our new simplified energy bills just have a few options starting with 'Grossly inflated' and progressing to the premium 'Bloodsucker' package. . .'

"I can't understand it, we did quite well in the first three quarters.

Power/Expenditures

'Was it Nietzsche who said, whatever doesn't kill your portfolio makes it stronger?'

'Come back in two months the meaning of life can change, depending if the market is bullish or bearish.'

Acme Petroleum, since 1925 and 9/10.

"I dreamed last night that I was furious at you for charging me for missing last week's session. What do you think it means?"

'Can Mr. Sloan call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

'With the price of petrol, I had to take on a second job to pay for the petrol to drive to my first job!'

'Are you sure this isn't the point in which we should stop following the invisible hand of the marketplace?'

My definition of 'quality time?'...charging $500 per hour.

Mortgage up: 'Where?.'

'Thank goodness we don't need profits in order to make piles of money.'

Moanathon.

'I am afraid, sir, that in the current economic climate, a picture is now only worth 500 words.'

"We're a monopolyopoly. Our company that owns 13 subsidiaries which put on a darn good imitation of competition."

"Well, if there is life on Mars, how come they haven't asked us for money?"

'I'd like to participate in gym class, but I'm afraid I'll get overheated and contribute to the global warming problem.'

Pharmacy. Prescription. Don't worry about that --- After paying for those you can't afford to drive! (Published originally on August 1, 2011.)

'I hear your fees are very reasonable.'

Time = $. Time > $.

"And the Haves, you might say, are divided into the Gives and Give Nots."

"This is our newest drug. It's currently undergoing rigorous testing to see how much we can charge."

'IBM is up two, Google is up one-half and your prune-Danish is up one buck.'

"I know it's not an antique but it will be when I've finished paying for it."

I used to live payday to payday, now I live payday to three days till payday.

With gas prices soaring, many stations have begun posting EMS teams next to their pumps.

Encouragement from Crashed Driver

"Classic ballcap $79.95. White, black, red or blue. Adjustable. One size fits all."

"Expensive? Yes, but I don't exploit my mother."