Bargain Philosopher Gifts

'What do I get for £1?'

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

'Sorry guys... budget cuts !'

Screwdriver labelled 'Buyer' and screw labelled 'seller'.

"I think he said he wants to buy 'just the one'. You'd better fetch the manager"

'Please, Dad? Can we? Can we? Pleeeease?'

"Let's say an immediate $10.00 allowance increase plus an annual 8% cost of living raise and I'll call him off."

Power/Expenditures

Garage Sale (sign originally read 'Garbage' sale).

How much would you take off for cash?

'How do I qualify for the 'Preferred Customer Discount' you're advertising?' 'Do you have a pulse?'

"Well, if there is life on Mars, how come they haven't asked us for money?"

'They've got a great deal here. When you buy one meal, I get mine half price!'

'It's so frustrating -- all our coupons are expiring!'

Right now my brother Al is paying a psychiatrist a hundred bucks an hour to hear his troubles, while I'm drinking beer and telling you mine at happy hour prices. Obviously, Al IS the crazy one.

"My little brother's almost all better. Can I get half-off?"

"The defendant wishes to change his plea, from 'not guilty' to 'no collusion'."

'Well, you're bankrupt, but look on the bright side -- it only cost you eight dollars per transaction!'

'No thanks. I never sign a sales deal at the door.'

"...so if my maths serves me right, if I buy four of these it won't cost you anything"

'Dammit, I said 25 Billion Dollars-and not a penny less!'

'Actually, the bill is part of your reality therapy.'

Farmers Telemarket. That's right. Beans for just $.10 a carton. Ma'am, would you like a month's worth of corn absolutely free? We'll even switch your onions for you!

"I want to tell her I love her and let her know I'm careful with money."

'Look, mom...a bargain!'

'You've been on eBay again haven't you?'

'You don't have to stay in a motel. I have a couch you can rent.'

Everyday is cyber Monday.

Bargain Hunter

"Believe me, you're not the first person who thought they were getting a deal by buying generic."

I used to live payday to payday, now I live payday to three days till payday.

"I know it's not an antique but it will be when I've finished paying for it."

Man flattered into buying by a frenchwoman

When they said more people were choosing to holiday at home I think they meant in the UK

'Buy one get one free' signs coming out of the ground - 'I'm growing them for Tescos'.