Press Worker Gifts

Laundry Pressing Journalist.

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

"...And do you Sean Spicer take Kelly Anne Conway..." "The marriage of alternative facts"

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

Public Relations: Reputations cleaned and repaired

"....So called 'fake news' is dangerous to our democracy!"

"We live in the golden age of fake news, alternative facts and spin control. Your resume is too truthful."

'This one is for keeping 'On Message' in the spin wars.'

Moses Today. Due to the sensitive nature of this matter, my source wishes to remain anonymous.

Newspaper suicide.

"Here are today's leading factoids, and I'm Skip Shumaker, spoon-feeding them to you!"

'Mr. President, I have a question, where's the mens' room?'

Free press.

'That's the new guy. He writes our 'shuck-and-jive' press releases.'

Freedom of the Press

"There will be a Q&A...but in this era of Trump I will be insulting anyone whose questions I don't like."

"I will answer anything but questions."

"What? You like political cartoons??! You won't get a visa!"

"The White House Washington"

'Don't give up hope, Senator- We've worked out a plan to decrease your name recognition.'

"First, we tell everybody that you're in rehab. I'll take it from there."

'Now we'll have to explain it to the press. Remember - keep it superficial.'

"I've finished the press statement about the kraken."

Printers

"I'll check your circulation."

The Daily Me

US Media

Newspaper

'No comment for now, but there will be a press leak at four.'

"Is there a spin doctor in the house?"

MI5 Press Office

"I just spoon-fed the media a pound of really old salmon."

Tank. Building this vehicle will create jobs and stimulate growth! He's given new meaning to the phrase "The economy's in the tank"!

"I'm majoring in Communications with a minor in Leaking!"

'Honda has recalled the U.S. Sixth Fleet due to leaky sunroofs.'