Press Worker Pillows

Laundry Pressing Journalist.

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

"...And do you Sean Spicer take Kelly Anne Conway..." "The marriage of alternative facts"

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

Public Relations: Reputations cleaned and repaired

"....So called 'fake news' is dangerous to our democracy!"

"We live in the golden age of fake news, alternative facts and spin control. Your resume is too truthful."

'This one is for keeping 'On Message' in the spin wars.'

Newspaper suicide.

"Here are today's leading factoids, and I'm Skip Shumaker, spoon-feeding them to you!"

'Mr. President, I have a question, where's the mens' room?'

Free press.

Freedom of the Press

'That's the new guy. He writes our 'shuck-and-jive' press releases.'

"There will be a Q&A...but in this era of Trump I will be insulting anyone whose questions I don't like."

"I will answer anything but questions."

"The White House Washington"

"What? You like political cartoons??! You won't get a visa!"

'Don't give up hope, Senator- We've worked out a plan to decrease your name recognition.'

"First, we tell everybody that you're in rehab. I'll take it from there."

"I've finished the press statement about the kraken."

'Now we'll have to explain it to the press. Remember - keep it superficial.'

Printers

MI5 Press Office

US Media

'No comment for now, but there will be a press leak at four.'

"Is there a spin doctor in the house?"

"I'm majoring in Communications with a minor in Leaking!"

"I just spoon-fed the media a pound of really old salmon."

Newspaper

"I'll check your circulation."

"I will not answer specific questions. Please have some respect for my position's ambiguity."