Press Reporter Gifts

The Croucho Club

Independent Exit Poll.

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

Squeezing the Free Press.

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

"Well, how do things look from where you sit?"

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

"The economy always seems to be recovering, but it never recovers."

Gay Times...

Press Freedom

Difference of Opinion

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

A little bird told me...

"Analysts warn that computerization of the villages won't give the expected results!"

Man Reading Laptop.

"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."

"I'm going to miss it when they stop warning us"

"You're either lying or not telling the truth."

'He was a great writer'

Reporter #6: television.

2020 Swiss barmy knife

'Stocks rose on the rumor that the market is mostly rumor-driven.'

Turkey, present day...

'The village's oldest inhabitant? We did have one, but he died.'

"What's with the Tim Russert act?"

"Reports that AI is planning a world takeover are greatly exaggerated."

'Hey!! What gives, there's nothing but a bunch of squiggly lines on this newspaper.'

Newspaper suicide.

"Wow. . . is that you, Mr Erdogan. . . Mr Kim Jong-un. . . Mr Putin. . . Mr Maduro. . . Mr. Bin-Salman. . . Mr al-Assad. . ."

"Hang in there everyone—we promise a cute animal story at the end."