Reporter Gifts

Difference of Opinion

"Since I no longer trust the media. I get all my news from hysterical people on the street."

"Nation-wise, we're in a pickle."

I won THAT Pulitzer for a drug name.

'I don't understand your question. Could you restate it as an answer?'

'By the way, is this off the record?'

Gettysburg Address, "Now can we have it as a sound bite ?"

'Unconfirmed reports suggest that there may have been a breakdown in communication.'

God hounded by the media.

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

"No comment."

'Once again, there is no conclusive evidence of climate change. From Fairbanks, Alaska, this is Joe Matthews reporting.'

Slanted media coverage.

"That's a very good question, which is why we're going to move on to the next question."

'Lessons have been learned.'

Sign says Daily News: Read it for free online: Journalists wonder 'Where did it all go wrong?'

'Hey, that line's moving a lot faster!'

'The environmental impact should be minimal. In any event, we can work around it.'

"I said I would take questions - I didn't say I would answer them."

"Would you say this is a must-win?"

"Here's what went wrong today."

Journalist flooding an area

'Remember Jones! It's not exaggeration if you believe it!'

'Are we watching business news or sports news?'

'He was a great writer'

Business News: Economic Growth Indicators are Up, Led By Car Repairs, Divorce Costs, Open Heart Surgeries and Toxic Waste Cleanups.

Headline: 'Something happened but it was all over by the time we got there.'

"Now here's my co-anchor, Nancy, with a conflicting account of that very same story."

Coincidence or What?

'Well, if you consider normal corporate surveillance, interrogation, and harassment 'union-busting,', nothing I have to say will change your mind.'

'Let me rephrase your question and answer with a 10 second sound bite to catch the next news cycle.'

'Like it? I LOVED it! The narrative gripped me from the first sentence and didn't let go until the final, heart-stopping page! And the CHARACTERS! Without question, Harris, this is the finest year-end financial report you've ever written!'

'Although nothing newsworthy happened today, we will give you meaningless chatter, with the same enthusiasm we reserve for breaking news.'

'Wait a sec...do you want that comment off the record or out of context?'

"Charles is a journalist, but, of course, not one of those bottom feeders."