Television Reporter Gifts

"Any network reporters left?"

"What does he mean it's been another year for the history books? Doesn't he think history books have enough of them?"

"They're not wasting time with verbs anymore."

Brianna Keilar

'I write the crawl...'

'700,000 killed and millions injured... and now, here's Lenny with the lighter side of the news.'

Journalist.

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

Squeezing the Free Press.

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

"Well, how do things look from where you sit?"

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

"The economy always seems to be recovering, but it never recovers."

Gay Times...

Press Freedom

Difference of Opinion

There's a crew here from 60 minutes and they're coming this way.

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

A little bird told me...

"Analysts warn that computerization of the villages won't give the expected results!"

Man Reading Laptop.

"I'm going to miss it when they stop warning us"

"You're either lying or not telling the truth."

"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."

'He was a great writer'

"Hang in there everyone—we promise a cute animal story at the end."

Hello, this is Cable News. Oh. I'm Mortimer Park. As you know, we only have four short years until the next presidential election. So it's time to start asking: Who should run? Whom do you prefer? (A) Al Gore … (B) John Kerry … (C) Marco Rubio … (D) Ted Cruz ... (E) Christ Christie ... House of Java Cybercafe. How about (F) You? Mr. Eugene Yu is actually (T).

"Reports that AI is planning a world takeover are greatly exaggerated."

"Allow me to respond to your question with a question of my own that I can answer."

'Hey!! What gives, there's nothing but a bunch of squiggly lines on this newspaper.'

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