Press Aide Gifts

"I am not a candidate. Just ask my campaign manager, press aides and fund raisers."

Trial by Media

'How fast can you hype?'

The president's men

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

"...And do you Sean Spicer take Kelly Anne Conway..." "The marriage of alternative facts"

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

Public Relations: Reputations cleaned and repaired

"We've won control of the congress. Our next objective is to win control of the media."

"....So called 'fake news' is dangerous to our democracy!"

"We live in the golden age of fake news, alternative facts and spin control. Your resume is too truthful."

'This one is for keeping 'On Message' in the spin wars.'

Newspaper suicide.

'This 'infrastructure' stuff you keep talking about -- does it have anything to do with vegetables?'

"Here are today's leading factoids, and I'm Skip Shumaker, spoon-feeding them to you!"

'Mr. President, I have a question, where's the mens' room?'

Free press.

'If you have to ask, you can't afford it.'

'That's the new guy. He writes our 'shuck-and-jive' press releases.'

"I'm not spinning - I'm contextualizing."

As you can see, media coverage at this event is very heavy...

Freedom of the Press

"There will be a Q&A...but in this era of Trump I will be insulting anyone whose questions I don't like."

Crooked Hillary... Pig... Sad!... Not a Ten!...

"What kind of politician would I be if I didn't politicize this crisis?"

News Headline Reads - 'Man Bites Feral Media'.

'Don't give up hope, Senator- We've worked out a plan to decrease your name recognition.'

"No word from the company – but, it's clear that this is a major spill."

"The White House Washington"

"He's only been president a few months. Just give hima little time."

'If you can't afford a media adviser the court will appoint you one.'

"Sir, what is your position on the issue of banana control?"

"And then I said, 'They're not Christians, they're Easter Worshippers!' Cause we can't say the 'C' word out. . ."

"I've finished the press statement about the kraken."

"First, we tell everybody that you're in rehab. I'll take it from there."