Press Conference Regular Pillows

"I will not run for re-election so I can spend more time with my role officer."

"...And do you Sean Spicer take Kelly Anne Conway..." "The marriage of alternative facts"

"I'm going to read a statement and then I'll take questions.''

President Grant denies Ambitions for 3rd Term- A 'Blighting Effect' on Newspaper Editors

'No comment for now, but there will be a press leak at four.'

"But for an update in GM products in farming we have a spokescarrot."

Dollars Press Conference

'When I said I was going to resign my contract, I meant re-sign my contract for another five years!'

"Awake and doing great"

"Please remember - if the President doesn't get mad at you, don't take it personally - Mr. Trump is very, very busy."

The Croucho Club

I'm sorry Charles is unavailable for polite comment.

These remarks are completely off the record

"That's a very good question, which is why we're going to move on to the next question."

Independent Exit Poll.

The main reason I came out of hiding? FOMO."

'I have time for 3 more of those politically booby-trapped minefields you call questions.'

"...were in fact not victims but just had a really, really hard time getting out of bed this morning."

"For a change of pace, you shout and answer and I'll make up a question."

'This is an amicable split. Coach O'Neill has done a great job. We just have different ideas...'

Diddly

'We wouldn't dream of blaming you...'

The media became obsessed with the idea of 'The Most Important Potato Chip in the Bag'.

'The movie doesn't scare me - the commercials do.'

'Hurry up, coach. Pick one.. you're late for the press conference.'

News of the World

"Trump's election victory was intended by God!"

God Gives His First Press Conference

"I'm stepping down to spend more time with my chin."

'After much thought and consideration, I've decided to remain as coach of the team in order to spend less time with my family.'

'We've negotiated a contract in which my client agrees to always give it 104 percent.'