Presentation Whiz Gifts

'You certainly have a way with no words.'

"This report took me three months to put together - any questions?" "Yes - how long have you had that toupee?"

Cool 3-D screen.

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

"I did the best dental health poster in the class. I just hope Mr. Tooth Decay doesn't hold a grudge."

How to deliver a successful presentation.

'Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...'

'Herb will provide one of his concise interpretations of the quarterly sales charts.'

"According to your resume, you've done just about everything except ever having a job."

Paper to boy: 'Did you forget something? I'm your take home test.'

"So what makes you think you're the man for the job?"

'My new browser is so fast I have to take motion sickness pills.'

Change Management: Change can be ruf.

'85.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'

You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it.

I'm not sure they understood what I was getting at. Yeah, they all looked confused, didn't they?

Substance Abuse Seminar: How Not To Get Hooked!

'How fast can you hype?'

'Almost finished.'

"Once you get over the three hundred and sixty eight texts it took to plan this, it really is nice to get together."

Free Printer with Purchase of Ink

'I can't wait for Power Point.'

"Recent research has yielded some frightening results...It turns out we are a business team held forever on a presentation chart, locked away in a supply closet."

"No, it hasn't anything to do with my presentation. But wait until you see how I hold everyone's attention with it sitting next to me at the podium."

The Communicator

"I am totally ready for this presentation."

'This is a very dysfunctional company. No one will talk aboaut about the elephant in the boardroom!'

'First the good news.'

'You're hired. Go figure.'

'I don't get it. He's got only one tongue and two ears, but he talks twice as much as he listens.'

"I'm feeling a lot of love in the room - with the exception of that guy over there."

'I cam for your obsolete operating system.'

"I can see you and I'm still too busy."

'I'll be right with you after I've checked my messages, dear...'