Prescription Procrastinator Gifts

"It doesn't really matter if I take a wrong pill - I probably have something that needs it anyway!"

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

"Lazy? I've been social-networking my ass off."

"I'd rather eat your homework."

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

"Honey, I can't go to the gym today. I feel too out-of-shape."

"I did my report on time travel, but my dog ate my homework in the future."

Serious Putty

"I tried the C25k but prefer the 5k2C"

"This next song's from the soundtrack to the film of the book I never got around to writing."

'I forgot to do my homework so can we plow into a snow bank on the way to school?'

"I can't mow the lawn today. A bug just flew up my nose."

Studying and technology

'I'm not lazy - just resting before I get tired...'

Nethead strip: Over doing the time spent on the computer

"Things to do today: 1) stare out window 2) crap on new bedspread 3) stare out window 4) claw up ottoman 5) stare out window 6) take nap."

Obedience school was tough. Especially the homework, which he would do and then eat.

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

"I'm afraid you neglected to submit the proper development permit application."

Easy chair exercise machines

'Hey, boss, what's a 7 letter work starting with 'w' that represents what I should be doing rather than solving crossword puzzles?'

Invaders from Planet Manava.

Is your homework finished? It's almost a snow day. No way

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. That's a relief! How much can they expect out of your on your first day?

'Work's the greatest thing on earth... so I'm saving some up for tomorrow!'

As the horrible signs began to appear, students would go to any length to avoid seeing them.

'You didn't practice last night,did you?'

"The pastor can't be disturbed. He's preparing for Sunday's service."

Kid about report on alternative fuels being due today: 'I just couldn't summon up the energy to do it.'

Holiday Shopping for Guys

"What already?! If it weren't for my extraordinary willpower, I'd be exercising right now!"

Rip van Winkle goes back to the office/

I was a day late and a dollar short, but it was a personal best!

"How about fashionably never?"