Prescription Powerhouse Gifts

'Get me a hundred milligrams of Oxycontin... And pick up something for this guy while you're at it.'

"Now that's a win."

I really think I can handle this date on my own. Lemme ask you something. Would you trust me alone with a ybot 340? An Xbox 360? They changed the name? Okay. But you cannot hit on my date. I'm only here to help.

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

"This is for the pain and these are for the side effects."

Corporate Whore.

'Side effects may include....'

Admit it Doc. You're jealous because my home remedy worked better than your fancy prescription!

"Take 4 teaspoons of this medicine every day. . ."

'...may the best pharmaceuticals win.'

"Whatever doesn't kill me gives me the chance to try new prescriptions."

"Sorry for the delay in fulling your prescription. Since you brought it in there has been two new side effects we have to add to the label."

'This is the time when the University started to rank our research by the number of publications, not the quality of the publications...'

'Sometimes the boss exerts too much pressure about meeting a project deadline.'

'It's not quite ready. Come back in 15 minutes.'

'Why don't you go and borrow Jeff's tools? While you're at it, borrow Jeff.'

"I tend to get more done when I leave self-loathing off the to-do list."

'My portfolio is doing well after they injected it with the right combination of pharmaceuticals.'

"Well, for this amount we could do you a nice word-of-mouth campaign!"

"They're considering order-fulfillment as a new Olympic sport."

'I'm going to prescribe a new diabetic medication. It's a bit costly. I'll start you off with fifty dollars a week.'

Hands off my IP!

Talk to your doctor about Placebitrex...the pill that does whatever you think you need it to.

'We have a tournament to see which drug reps get to see the doctors.'

'I had to confirm that you had prescribed a placebo, Doctor. But when I said it was an extra-strength placebo, he was pleased.'

Malcolm's got a mind like a steel trap.

'Welcome to the interview for our Post-Doc position, I hope you've brought your publication list...'

"Same old, same old, men seem intimidated by a strong woman..."

Mom's Gym

'I do hope Nauinski is not thinking of cheating!'

Buy- out specialist

'One out of two doctors recommends this prescription.'

"We're out of the 500 mg size."

"Your insurance company won't cover this prescription. They don't want to get your hopes up."

"My doctor pooled all my medications into one convenient tablet."