Package Powerhouse Gifts

"They're considering order-fulfillment as a new Olympic sport."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"Now that's a win."

I really think I can handle this date on my own. Lemme ask you something. Would you trust me alone with a ybot 340? An Xbox 360? They changed the name? Okay. But you cannot hit on my date. I'm only here to help.

Corporate Whore.

'Get me a hundred milligrams of Oxycontin... And pick up something for this guy while you're at it.'

'Special Delivery!'

'This is the time when the University started to rank our research by the number of publications, not the quality of the publications...'

'Sometimes the boss exerts too much pressure about meeting a project deadline.'

"Son, this is the key to success - it opens the room where we keep the money."

'Why don't you go and borrow Jeff's tools? While you're at it, borrow Jeff.'

"I tend to get more done when I leave self-loathing off the to-do list."

'An E-pamphlet? Seriously?'

'How's the school board meeting going?'

'I do hope Nauinski is not thinking of cheating!'

'Welcome to the interview for our Post-Doc position, I hope you've brought your publication list...'

Buy- out specialist

"Same old, same old, men seem intimidated by a strong woman..."

Mom's Gym

"Yes, I do all my shopping online. How did you know?"

"I was at home all day yesterday so when do I want you to re-deliver? Yesterday!"

"Online shopping saves me time, so I can work more to earn more to have the money to buy more stuff online..."

"It says, 'To deter Porch Pirates, we've thrown your package on your roof'."

"How do we know the label isn't on upside down?"

'Your report is totally without merit. Add a color cover and some clip art then resumit it.'

'I've joined the 'Cheque-book-of-the-Month Club!'

"I've noticed a pattern. Whenever she gets on that thing, a package soon arrives at the door. If we figure out how it works, we'll eat like kings."

"As a matter of fact - We do offer free shipping."

Soon after taking up cycling, Jeff noticed a significant change to his body.

'Oh, yeah that - I'm in the mail order business.'

Rush Deliver by Dec. 24. Seriously, the fact that they could be tracking us online as we speak creeps me out!

'Part of the fun of ordering over the internet is getting to see that cute overnight delivery man.'

"It never ceases to amaze me how many things you'd prefer to have instead of money."

"It's a new service from Amazon. It sends you something every day and if you don't like it you just send it back."

Mail and Air Mail Boxes.