Preschool Competitor Gifts

'...If you really loved me, you'd transfer me to a preschool with a winning team.'

'I know I'm still in the Juniors, but I already need a therapist.'

Yummy Mummies

"I won it for being the most noncompetitive in preschool."

"I want to have at least two children - I have too much guilt to give for just one."

Danth battle?

Al's Diner. Special: Spaghetti. All You Can Eat $3.95. Ernie, don't play with your food unless you're sure you can win.

'You'll never be the next Micheal Phelps if you don't start working on your breaststroke.'

The Cricketer and the Golfer

The young Michael Phelps: 'Just another four laps and I'll get out!'

"Looks like somebody brought a blanky to a pillow fight."

'Is that why our games of hide and seek are over so quickly?'

'The kids take it very seriously - I'm sure it's their father's fault.'

Pole jumper about to land on a giant whoopi cushion.

"That Melinda Alvarez thinks she's so smart! Well, I've been studying, and I'm gonna teach her a lesson on the test we have today!"

"Well, if I didn't send away for an entry application to the cat show, and you didn't send away for an entry application, who did?"

A powerful tennis serve loosens the strings of a tennis racquet.

Skateboard Olympics.

"They've been playing Big Brother again"

Basketball Players Working Together

A Man mixing up his sports.

'Oh, yeah? Well, my dad can pretend to beat up your dad!'

'I'm his MOTHER. I KNOW he was safe!'

Later accounts would call it the Greatest Water Battle of All Time,

'My kid is going to Harvard, and Jim's son to Stanford- which college accepted yoyr kid, Fred? ( pix of clown on desk)

Oh, yeah? Well, my dad can reach a higher plane of consciousness than your dad!

'I was doing okay 'til I stuck my neck out on guillotine.'

"Better - but it was still too obvious when you went for the pine tar under your hat."

"Looks like Dad has finally given up on trying to beat us at chess."

'Don't take it too hard, Dad, Mr. Hodes down the street is just having a great year.'

"Do I read better than Mommy?"

"Today we practiced counting to five, and the teacher practiced counting to ten."

Space Hopper Rodeo

'Jimmy takes these Easter Egg hunts very seriously.'

"I'm sorry, but Woolfsey Academy expects a basic level of preparation from its candidates. Mistaking vermilion for scarlet? I don't think so.".