Competitive Kiddo Gifts

'I know I'm still in the Juniors, but I already need a therapist.'

Football Fans

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

"I was drawing a whale, but I ran out of paper."

"I guess for me family planning is just a study in fertility."

Yummy Mummies

"I want to have at least two children - I have too much guilt to give for just one."

Danth battle?

Children's imagination

Sniffathon: The Dog world's version of a Kissathon

'I was six before I realized there were things you could do with Play Dough aside from eating it.'

"Looks like somebody brought a blanky to a pillow fight."

The Cricketer and the Golfer

"I wanted to see if it made a picture."

"Well, if I didn't send away for an entry application to the cat show, and you didn't send away for an entry application, who did?"

Pole jumper about to land on a giant whoopi cushion.

A powerful tennis serve loosens the strings of a tennis racquet.

'I don't mind being sent off Sir - but not during the warm-up!'

"They've been playing Big Brother again"

'Hope you don't mind the boxing gloves. I'm no good at hands.'

Basketball Players Working Together

A Man mixing up his sports.

'All I'm saying is that Rembrant must have had a rotten childhood.'

Cricket with a hamster in a plastic ball.

100m Flies Race: Entomological Olympiad.

Later accounts would call it the Greatest Water Battle of All Time,

'I'm his MOTHER. I KNOW he was safe!'

'Oh, yeah? Well, my dad can pretend to beat up your dad!'

Ping Pong

"Better - but it was still too obvious when you went for the pine tar under your hat."

'I was doing okay 'til I stuck my neck out on guillotine.'

"Looks like Dad has finally given up on trying to beat us at chess."