Competitive Kiddo Gifts

'I know I'm still in the Juniors, but I already need a therapist.'

Football Fans

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

"I was drawing a whale, but I ran out of paper."

Yummy Mummies

"I guess for me family planning is just a study in fertility."

"I want to have at least two children - I have too much guilt to give for just one."

Danth battle?

Al's Diner. Special: Spaghetti. All You Can Eat $3.95. Ernie, don't play with your food unless you're sure you can win.

Children's imagination

Sniffathon: The Dog world's version of a Kissathon

The Cricketer and the Golfer

The young Michael Phelps: 'Just another four laps and I'll get out!'

"Looks like somebody brought a blanky to a pillow fight."

'I was six before I realized there were things you could do with Play Dough aside from eating it.'

"I wanted to see if it made a picture."

"Well, if I didn't send away for an entry application to the cat show, and you didn't send away for an entry application, who did?"

Pole jumper about to land on a giant whoopi cushion.

A powerful tennis serve loosens the strings of a tennis racquet.

'I don't mind being sent off Sir - but not during the warm-up!'

"They've been playing Big Brother again"

'Hope you don't mind the boxing gloves. I'm no good at hands.'

Basketball Players Working Together

A Man mixing up his sports.

'All I'm saying is that Rembrant must have had a rotten childhood.'

'Oh, yeah? Well, my dad can pretend to beat up your dad!'

Later accounts would call it the Greatest Water Battle of All Time,

Oh, yeah? Well, my dad can reach a higher plane of consciousness than your dad!

"Better - but it was still too obvious when you went for the pine tar under your hat."

"Looks like Dad has finally given up on trying to beat us at chess."

'Don't take it too hard, Dad, Mr. Hodes down the street is just having a great year.'

Cricket with a hamster in a plastic ball.

Ping Pong

100m Flies Race: Entomological Olympiad.