Competitive Pet Enthusiast Gifts

"Well, if I didn't send away for an entry application to the cat show, and you didn't send away for an entry application, who did?"

"Pick me!"

"As a friend, I pray you rest in peace. As a dog, I really want to dig you up."

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

"Okay, you both know the rules: no trash talk, no batting the other guy all over the house if he’s unconscious, watch the claws and nails..."

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

Canine Companion

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

"Why don't you come get me? Oh that's right, you aren't allowed on the couch!"

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

" 'Grrr' is not a word."

"Just one more question before I let you in...I can let you in...are you a cat or dog person?"

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

"He also barks, meows and makes noises like a hamster."

Love Conquers All

"I don't know about you, but it always makes me feel kinda special."

"Watch out, Simone's hangry - her stomach AND her throat are growling."

Agility God

"Did you get my tweet?"

Couple sitting in living room reading books while dog reads a book with a cat shaped cover.

'What was all that swerving at the cat walk?'

"I could catch a bicyclist, well maybe not a bicyclist, but I could catch a jogger, definitely."

"He's already getting attached to you."

Pets.

"Look. They say sit, you sit. They say roll over, you roll over. Where's the prob?"

'Other dogs howl at the moon, I've trained mine to play Bach.'

Author's Bio-diversity.

"If you can’t beat ’em, roll around in their decaying carcass."

"The video of you eating my $700 John Varvatos got 300 'likes.'"

Sign at vet's says 'Cat's waiting area'. Cat says to dog with head in cone: 'Oi, mate, can't you read?'

'Now there's a vet that needs a holiday,'

A mime and his pet parrot talk to one another.

Pet Shop - Parrot labeled as 'Good Listener'

"The old tricks, young fellow, have served me well."