Baby Competition Fan Gifts

'You don't really care about sex. You just want the prizes for the first baby of the New Year.'

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

"His real name is Major, but everyone call him GET DOWN!"

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

Whoa

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

In utero...boy, THOSE were the days!

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

'Wow! That was quite some push Mrs Smith...'

A pregnant woman wears a shirt that says "Baby"with an arrow pointing down, while a mother holds a baby that is an arrow pointing up.

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

Maternity Ward

'How many fingers do you see?'

'Listen! It kicked again right here. I swear it's not appendicitis!'

Bouncing baby

'I win!'

'You're up the duff with a bun in the oven.'

Maternity Hospital

'We got Spot and Fluffy when it rained cats and dogs. You came in a baby shower.'

'The employee who guesses closest to the correct number of beans in this jar will be awarded this year's annual pay increase! -Management, ATOZ Accountants

Giving Birth

"I need to go home now! I'm all out of pee!"

'This is our top negotiator's office.'

'Well, he certainly has his Father's vocabulary.'

"Well, if I didn't send away for an entry application to the cat show, and you didn't send away for an entry application, who did?"

'If he starts early enough, he could be the next Rory Mcilroy.'

"Yeah, going to the dog park is good, but I must prefer a more intimate walk with my Master..."

"It's from HQ, they're replacing me with a younger man!"