Baby Competition Fan Pillows

'You don't really care about sex. You just want the prizes for the first baby of the New Year.'

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

"His real name is Major, but everyone call him GET DOWN!"

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

'and remember delivery is free if it happens in a half hour!'

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

Doctor performing an ultrasound on a Russian nesting doll

'Congratulations! It's a bouncing baby boy!'

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

In utero...boy, THOSE were the days!

'Wow! That was quite some push Mrs Smith...'

A pregnant woman wears a shirt that says "Baby"with an arrow pointing down, while a mother holds a baby that is an arrow pointing up.

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

Maternity Ward

'How many fingers do you see?'

'Listen! It kicked again right here. I swear it's not appendicitis!'

Bouncing baby

'I win!'

Giving Birth

Maternity Hospital

'You're up the duff with a bun in the oven.'

'The employee who guesses closest to the correct number of beans in this jar will be awarded this year's annual pay increase! -Management, ATOZ Accountants

'We got Spot and Fluffy when it rained cats and dogs. You came in a baby shower.'

"It's from HQ, they're replacing me with a younger man!"

'This is our top negotiator's office.'

'If he starts early enough, he could be the next Rory Mcilroy.'

"Well, if I didn't send away for an entry application to the cat show, and you didn't send away for an entry application, who did?"

'Well, he certainly has his Father's vocabulary.'

"I need to go home now! I'm all out of pee!"

"Yeah, going to the dog park is good, but I must prefer a more intimate walk with my Master..."

Woman welcomes back her cat but not its new kittens.